A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
