Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
