They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
