i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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