he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
