if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think i got beer on your cat.
I forget how to act sober
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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