Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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