After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
