either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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