Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize