Nicole vs. Life
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
