It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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