Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
