I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
