I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
