remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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