in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it because I queefed?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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