garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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