Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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