I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
