So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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