he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He kissed a someone with a penis
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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