grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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