There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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