I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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