so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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