i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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