All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
