yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
