8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
