dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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