i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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