I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
