We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the condom got lost in my hair
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
These tits shall not be calmed
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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