i love accidental penises.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
