names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
