So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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