oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
