Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
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