I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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