If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
