My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We need to get me chipped asap
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
