So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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