super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
