Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize