Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
