I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize