i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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