I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the condom got lost in my hair
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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