she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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