Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
