I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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