then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
