btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
