i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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