someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize