walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
