Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize