Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
