i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
