i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just had sex on a roof
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
its liver damage thursday
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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