I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
