I must be too annoying 4 u.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
