yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
