you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Naked. naked and bneed help.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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