I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
