I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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